其实我不快乐

唱出我的心声

“其實我很不快樂　想躲進暗黑街角 淚再可痛快地流落　不知哪日會對愛再有感覺 和誰人在一起　都用來共你相比 就算了不起　只可做到我知己 誰若寄望替代你　最尾都要放棄　只好退避 和誰在一起　很自然共你相比”

我很不开心，

该怎么办

=(

Tendered letter, and I'm so free for this month.
Doing lesser work and just waiting 630pm  off work, actually not what I wanted.
Instead, I wish I would be able to utilize all working time.
It's ok if I got lots things to do everyday, and finish on time without OT everyday, perhaps, I will stay.

Well, I'm too free now - facing tp, typing blog using my ip, as I realize I don't know what else I can do after fb...read the star...check mail box...read blog...what else? =(

Reading back own posts in blog and others' blog, that kind of feeling is really...hard to describe. Blog just to express out our feelings at that moment, what about after some time? Do we still have the same feeling?
Doubt with it.

Everyday wake up fulled of unhappiness, forcing myself to wakeup, go through it. I really wonder, how long could I stand on it? Can I break the promise I've made from you? :(

I have no idea what should I do. Sigh

人是自私的，对吧？
不开心，闷时， 或 有事情 .... 才会来找你，对你诉苦
拜托！我真的很讨厌！
我真的很想大大声的骂你，你懂吗！

时间 一天一天的过
有些事，根本都不会改变
奇迹？ 我想是我太天真了吧~
人家说啊~ 当你有太多的失望， 你就会放手了， 你就会看谈了

对生活真真的很累，
当需要你时，我懂....你根本都不会再出现了
也许， 是我 在逃避， 过不去

真的
只希望
你这个魔鬼
会消失了

曾经以为有你，我就足够，
之后发现原来是错的.
那些以为该散掉， 你...我也该放掉 忘掉
不该再继续错下去了
因为我要的 你，原来不存在
觉得好失去方向，失去自我 (-.-)

我的好兄弟

I just don't know why I started to love tis song.
It just like a song that represent him, the song he like the most.
Even we are just normal friend, but the feeling of miss you appeared.
Till now, still cant accept that you had leaved.
The time when this song is playing, the memories that we chat, we hang out and we joke... all popped up.
Totally forgot when was the last time we had talked to each other.
It seems.... no more chance.

Your words made me awake.
And I realize how far I should distance myself from you.
I force myself laughing and smiling all the time from now onwards, to hide up all the feelings.
I force myself talk non-stop to prevent from being look unhappy and from being ask by friends.
I will Never be selfish anymore; just like what I had told her - even thought you still love that people, but doesn't mean you can stay with him forever.
We have no choice, we have to force ourself to quit the game, instead of making ownself and him.... from being unhappy.

If I would be able turn back the time, I wish we nvr start before. At least....you can enjoy and stay your life happily. At least.... we are still friend for now :)

他的离去
真的很突然 、
虽然不是很熟 可是知道了那个news，
心 真的很不舒服，接受不到
每次跟人家说 「今天不懂明天的事，享受生活，珍惜一切」
可是当遇到这样的东西， 我还是办不到 :(
只懂得不可以那么自私，生活是人家的，管好自己的，自己开心就好.
做人啊~要看开点，很多人进进出出在我们的生活里,留下的只有回忆

Rip friend.

那些感觉又来了
真真的很矛盾
冷血，残忍 是我应该做的事
就像她说：我会心软
怎么一直在难为自己啊？
不是说好了要好好疼自己吗？
忘记了那些痛，那些伤心，那些眼泪了吗？
我真的很讨厌我自己！！！

开始觉得很模糊
不懂自己要些什么
每天只是过着没目标的生活
开心....走了
朋友....不见了
爱情....不会再出现了

往往什么事都剩下自己
不想告诉别人，不想诉苦
因为,再怎么说，也说不走那些痛
我要变的更自私
我不要往往顾着人家的感受，而，伤了自己
值得吗？
没人会珍惜，没人会谢谢你~只会更加伤你的心~

我不会像以前那样了
我不会让同样的事情一直一直的同样发生
这一次，我真的不会去靠近
我信
我信有天，一定会淡掉~一定会没感觉就算再看到什么

因为我开始觉得~大家都不是大家的那杯茶了~只是彼此都还忘不了

我不会再努力的逼自己~我知道你一定会比我快~无所谓 :)

我没你们想象中的那么快乐
其实, 我里面在流着.....血

心情超差的！
搞到我根本不想说话~
他妈的！
我真想大大声的喊
那些画面像是发了一场梦
Haiz~

心好乱
很委屈
很挣扎
很痛

怎么办 :(

永远抱着朋友的心态 和 没有渴望
不管对任何人
我想......
这样， 我再也不会被任何人伤害到了

我是怎么啦？
我又醉了吗？
怕~我怕我会害到他
担心~我担心会有事情发生
我是该取消那个念头吗？



已经用工作来麻木自己
不管多累多夜，我也不想回家
一直逼自己做个不停
只是想 [他] 不再我脑海里出现
这样也那么的难
真的很想知道你怎么做得到的
Hmmphh~~

脸上的快乐谁都看得到
心上的伤又有谁看得到？

复杂的世界
复杂的人们
复杂的关系

我.
是时候离开了

I'm addicted! Drink for few days continuosly~
Yea, I knew this is wrong~ by giving the excuses that I'm stress, able to sleep well, socialize..... What lame excuses right? Lol.

Hiding is a better way, I'm really tired facing the cruelty of real world in these few months. I really need a break!

Stress.Sadness pls leave me alone ;)

我真的不懂他会去那里
我又何必特地去撞他，然后看到，搞到自己不开心呢？
我已经尽量不去他会去的地方，我又哪知道每次都会那么的巧合啊 >.<

这次我真的很生气，我不想那些乱七八糟的话转到他耳边！因为我没有！我真的没有！

没人会懂我现在的心情 :(
你呢？

我真的很想你 :(

Damn you! Who do you think you are? Why you are just like controlling me? Is there any problem if I'm going with them? You really making me feel the annoying of you!
Please! You had over the border! You are just one of my friend, not my boyfriend.
I don't need to inform or tell you anything about me! You don't have the authority to know anything or everything, and like stop me from doing things that I shouldn't do. Even if I msg him, is it your business? Don't make me till i have the intention to avoid you one day!

我是野蛮，要你管吗？请你管好你自己就好了！你不是他，你一点权力都没有！如果我要做的事，谁都管不了！
以前的他.....就可以.可是未来的那个人，我也不会让他管 ;)
.
.
.
.
.
.
My mood is totally so messy now~ just like unable to control it! What should I do now >.<
昨晚的视线全在你身上，就算再帅的....我也看不见~只想看你多几眼.我真的好傻 :(

I feel so sorry to myself. Everything is just like back to zero..zero :(

多么希望抱着那一个是你，而， 不是他 :(
才发觉到原来.......我有那么的不开心

乱七八糟！
怎么变成这样啊~
我 不 喜 欢！
:(

You told me that you regret.

but you are the one who made all of these things happened.

I felt numb when I got the call yesterday,

The numbness which has stayed in me for few months,

I'm sorry when I don't respond to you yesterday,

because I'm totally don't know what respond that I should gave.

I understand your feeling

and you should know there is no more turning point,

since the things have reached the worst condition

what I can say is, just let it go.

the beginning always is the hardest, trust yourself that you can make it.

I know I'm disqualify to tell you this, 

as I'm unable to do it so.

But, just try. Who knows you will getting a better life in the future? ;) 

.

.

.

.

They told me that I'm a good gf before this

but Finally I realize,

being a good or bad one doesn't matter

because the result still is the same.

SO....

why should make yourself a good gf, right....Miss C? ;)

"I'm not a player, but I wish to be a player"

Yea~ let's make it together Miss C :D

单纯

只是小时候才会存在

当你经过某些事时，那些想法 单纯 就不会存在了

有时想回过去，开始觉得好笑

因有哪一些的想法

将来的我，一定不会有这一些想法了

也不会再为任何人而伤害自己了 :)

今天受气了！

真的很讨厌！

无辜的我，无端端被讲！:(

我可以向谁诉苦啊 :(

多么希望有个人在身边

Happy Birthday to mii~

生日已经对我不重要了，真的打算一个人度过，结果每个都要和我庆祝. 失望的事 - 你 没wish我 ;)
无所谓，本来都不管你事了~ 只希望你会开开心心的生活，找出你要的生活，别浪费了我的付出 和放弃 ;)

也许 我没看到那一幕，那有多好

Sometimes, not saying anything is the best answer. You see, silence can never be misquoted. At least it won't lead to misunderstand and conflict.

The biggest weakness of me, and this is what I always wish to change it. I'm going to screw it away from me :)

总有一天我一定可以做得到
只是不是昨天，今天 或者 明天

等到那一些影走了， 你就可以永远消失在我的心理，脑海里

只希望这一天快快的到来 :(

Three Months :)

7 June

It was her birthday, and I'm not in Teluk Intan on that day. But I have prepared some surprise for her. Thanks to Joyee mama's help :)

Both of us were so excited before Joyee mama went to take the cake. It was just a simple cake, where I searched the design in google. And thanks god as it is nice, exactly the same like the pic~

In short, just hope you like it ;)

Happy birthday my dearie Sis <3

 

我真的很想放弃
不是放弃我所做的东西
而是
放弃 我自己

Big Bang - Haru Haru [English subs + Romanization + Hangul] (kpopsubs)

就算条路有几难走，都要咬紧牙关走下去! 因为我懂，现在的我，只有自己才可以帮到自己!

讨厌我那个性格
【冲动】
真的会害死我
以为是个好事， 那里知....不是！
既然选了，就要坚持下去
学会改次别那么急

大了，不想每次还没试  或  一开始就放弃
虽然他们觉得不是什么大不了
可是我不想永远都被人保护,  感觉好像很没用 =(
也许不是想象中的那么差
我·啊~该在好的方面想 ;)

JUNE

Please be good to me!
:)

Never thought The Curve was not safe before

and this news came from few days past

It made me feel scary deep inside,

as I have to stay and go for work alone

especially OT till late night

=(

god, pls bless me

I'm so touched.

I saw the love from them

and 

I saw how useless myself is~

the help, the busy of them.

Actually it is not what big deal, but you guys make till

I have the feeling of crying.

Thankiu, Love you guys to the max  <3 <3 <3

现在的时代真的变了

这里分开，哪里又和她的朋友开始

可是 【她】 和 【她】 还是好朋友

好乱的世界 @@

他们不是puppy love 吧~ 走了四年，突然的断了

男的又和女的好朋友走在一起

不会伤心？ 不会伤吗？

是你们太开放？ 

还是  

报复？

还是  

你们宫心计啊？

你们真的很乱很乱很乱 >.<

还好， 我和你们不是同一个世界的

请  离我远远的哦~ ^.^

Jayesslee

Jayessle; the ladies of Janice and Sonia

This two ladies are coming to Malaysia next month
and I still remember I knew them from the first song of "tamia - Officially Missing you"
Their voices are so nice
and here's their new song of Payphone - Maroon 5 ;)

今天看到他们，

让我真的很想你

有一种说不出的感觉

没人会明白的

=(

The world is so unfair!
I don't do anything wrong, but I'm the one who being blame!
Blame Blame Blame!
Can you tell me the reason?
Can you tell me why I'm the one who being blame, in fact that I have done in a correct way!
I seriously hate!
I just don't feel to stay here!
I want to stay away from here~ to somewhere new - new friends , new environment!

One month to go

and I'm not going to celebrate like others.

I just plan to go through it by myself~

perhaps go for movie alone, brunch tea dinner alone ...blow the candles alone :)

just wish to alone on that day~

开始不喜欢单生的生活

很多时候都需要一个人

一个人 买东西

一个人 吃东西

一个人 出街

一个人 解决问题

一个人 开心， 伤心

永远 什么都一个人

原因

朋友 不会是永远陪在你身边

家人也一样

虽然

单生 很自由

可是， 习惯了 4年的两人生活

而现在

真的需要时间来调整

有时候

真的觉得自己像在发梦中

没想到

今天的我， 真的做得到  真的变得更坚强

连我自己 也无法相信 :)

也许那些  痛  真真的让我放下， 真真的让我离开

真的  真的  很谢谢你 :)

\

Nowadays I'm more addicted to tumblr

I just don't know why

perhaps it is still new to me? 

perhaps it is simple?

I don't know :)

Disappointment

Disappointed with myself 

Seems I have wasted the chance :( 

But I had done my best, I do really hope I can get it. 

At least... 

At least this was the ever real interview that I went for. 

Nice experience; I learnt it :) 

better than those few interviews that really sucks. 

this is what we can see; the difference between big company and small company

He ruined my day~ huhuhuhu

人  就是那样

好的  不会珍惜， 坏的  死都不放手

该说的我都说了， 我只看到你还是以前那样

没改变过~ 我懂我没权利说你， 所以我可以给的意见我都给了

听 或 不听   由你

在你身上我也学会了 ； 

别对任何人那么好， 再好那个人都不会珍惜的

突然的谈到

你流泪了

我真的没想到

已经半年了， 你还是放不下

那时的我， 看到你的痛

也许  你真的藏得比我好， 我真的要好好和你学习 :)

明白到的是  六年  真的不是那么的容易

可是  她  的变心, 你没得改变

你   我   都好好加油吧 ;)

Pain Pain Pain!

What's going on?

Should I go for specialist?

but I really kinda scare and worry~

I worry the doc will tell me that I have left few months live.

I worry the doc will tell me I'm in critical.

I worry the doc will tell me that I'm having heart disease =(

hahhaa, and I know everyone is laughing me when I'm saying this.

They said that I have watched too much of TVB dramas ==

but who knows, that it wont happen on me

right?

They are coming

They are coming!!

I just can't believe it,

as I just told my friend in last week

that I'm going if they come

>.<

never being so accurate, what I said become true!

:D

12May.

I miss him.

Seriously miss him so much, especially when I'm listening to his songs.

I wish I would be able back to last saturday.

Time flies so fast, as it has almost one week the concert passed.

Here are some videos of his concert in SG :) 

(those are my favourite songs, just uploaded few)

(Just listen and dont watch, or else you will feel dizzy. LOL)

 

No one will understand, and the only will know and understand is me myself.

so I don't mind what you were saying about me. 

What I can say is; you and me are different kind of people, you and me are looking for different thing.

So.... put yourself into people's shoe before you are judging those things :)

You will never know what is the one looking for :)

and...as predicted...

I will  stay strong for "being the devil" in others' eyes.

I don't need to explain, because I'm seriously and clearly know what I'm doing :)

Thanks for the challenges ;)

人只有两只手，能抓多少东西？

抓住一样东西，就意味着放弃了更多的东西。

放弃  和  失去，其实始终是人生的大局。

不要以为得到了什么，其实人时时刻刻都是在失去

失去时间

失去生命

失去更多的财富

失去更多的机会。

 不要抓得太紧，抓得越紧，丢失的会越多。

也不要贪心， 不要以为永远都可以得到全部你想要的

撑不住的时候， 可以对自己所  我好累，

但永远不要在心里承认说  我不行!  ;)

心     你怎么啦？

我开始有点担心了

是不是一直的痛， 搞到你真的病了？

最近的 心 真的很没力

搞到有时 呼吸， 说话， 都没力

我想  你  真的有点毛病了

Jacky Cheung 1/2 Century Concert

 

Here we are! The excited day after we have been waited for 2 months~

and he is seriously so AWESOME! 

He sang non-stop for almost 4hours without any guest

and his voice was really... 10/10 rating!

At first we felt we were listening to dvd version, but after some while, we realize he was really singing !

arghhh, so so worth to watch!

I'm going again if he is here again! ;)

Seriously, love his voice to the max! he did a great job and performed well!

Jacky Cheung, you are da best <3

 

 

.

.

.

Never ever thought, here I saw him again! 

Among few thousands people, I saw him for three times 

He is the crew for the concert, i guess

What else can i say?

不是有缘， 只是那么巧合而已  right? ;)